Nine years ago today….

My Birthing Story:

I figured I would share my story, with all… maybe I can help future teen mothers.

I graduated high school in June of 2006, I had signed up and was ready to attend Central Michigan University in the fall. I was excited, new friends, new adventures, new environment. It was everything I needed, my home life was falling apart, my dad and step-mother went through an ugly divorce with multiple court trips. My grandmother who was like my mother to me, passed away just a few months before my graduation unexpectedly.

Later my father’s new girlfriend/soon to be wife, was just as hard on me as the last. I felt like I had no one. At Central, I did the typical who cares attitude, lost sight of what I wanted to do with my life, and fell into a trap. My long term boyfriend from high school also attended Central and we were on and off close. He was there, yet he attended his classes while I just was depressed and unhappy with my life at the time. We came home from winter break, I was disappointed in myself  down on myself and just upset. I avoided my father, and didn’t want to share with my father I failed all my classes. It wasn’t “like” me, I was a straight A/B high school student, graduated with honors from High School, the whole nine yards. Life just hit me like a ton of bricks….

Home life got worse, and ended up moving in with my best friend at the time Sarah and her family. I am so grateful for friends I did have.

In December I went to a party with Sarah and some other friends, I met Ryan and all his friends. It was a casual in counter, nothing serious and low key.

I didn’t know I was pregnant and felt fine…

Ryan and I met again in February 2007, this time things were a little more flirty and his major flirting skills were impressive. I remember walking into the house where everyone was playing a game, he pulled a seat up saying he saved this one for me. From there it was history..

In March we went to Michigan State together for St. Patty’s Day, first over night trip, and so unlike me. To go away for the weekend with a boy I barely knew.. (Em will not be allowed)

L. RYAN

April came around, my father threatened me that if I didn’t move back into his house, that there would be “no” future with him. It was super hard, knowing I was going to be moving back in with his wife that absolutely hated me. I did. Ryan and I grew closer, Camping Trips, Date Nights, he was at my house more than he was at his. It was getting serious.

In May he said “I love you” and we were moving right along..
But I had a secret

I don’t remember the exact day I was like OMG I am pregnant, but I knew this was not in my plans. Yes I know how babies are conceived, and I failed to protect myself. I kept going back and forth to when I got pregnant, I was small, I barely showed..I did what I thought was what I needed to do..I hide my pregnancy. Was it Ryan’s or my ex? How far along am I?

UpNorth50

I kept it quite, my dad asked a couple times, and Ryan probably had some speculations. I avoided and dodge questions, and wore clothing much bigger than usual.
I was mentally falling apart.
Everyone went camping Fourth of July weekend, I lost it, I couldn’t hide it anymore. I was over this.
I broke down and told my dad and his wife, after the typical I am so disappointed in you, how could you do this, get out of my face “talk”..we scheduled me for an appointment..
I was high risk, as I had zero prenatal care..(please ladies don’t do this)
I have A- blood, and it was a complete blessing that my body just didn’t rejected the baby.
I went to my appointment the first week in July, I looked around 4/5 months pregnant just a small belly..
I was told my due date was August 3rd.
Holy Crap!!! I am seriously 9 months pregnant. (means this is not Ryan’s…..)

I hadn’t talked to my ex in months, it was kinda over, and we never wanted to see each other again.. but I had to make that call… AWKWARD as heck.

Then to tell Ryan, he was out on vacation with his friends, and wanted me to come to his place as he just got done driving across the state.. I couldn’t…we were worried that I could go into labor any moment with all the stress it would just push me closer. He knew I was pregnant, but we had to have the conversation, it wasn’t his.

I was 19 and pregnant, my current boyfriend was new and it wasn’t his. I didn’t want anything to do with my ex… this was some predicament… you make your bed you lie in it!

Ryan came over, we talked and I told him he could leave and never look back. There would be zero hard feelings.. He looked at me kissed me and asked what was for dinner. He was here, and here to stay.

Those were the fastest three weeks of my life, we had to get everything… My dad’s wife was trying to put together a shower, I was informing family members that I was pregnant and she would be here any day. Please come to my shower…A lot of my family hung up, told me how upset they are. How my grandma would be disappointed, I know… I AM SORRY! (Emily was present at her own shower)

People mentioned abortion.. (it was too late) .. Nor NOT an option for me.
My father mention adoption, someone else could give her a better life than I could at 19.
His wife mentioned them raising her… Over my dead body!

I ended up having Emily on July 28th 2007 at 7:48pm.

I had an awesome doctor, and just my doctor…I was part of that teen pregnancy movement. I was judged, and looked at. I was young, I am young… ( I still get questioned) We are 20 years apart, and look like siblings 80% of the time.

My water broke at 5:30am, I did what you are not suppose to do, I took a shower, had a snack, and packed my stuff up and headed to the hospital. I wasn’t really in pain, I have a high pain tolerance and the contractions were still far enough apart.

Ryan and I talked prior..he wanted to be in the room, but at this point in our relationship, how weird is that? Umm I am having a baby… Are we even going to be together in a year? How am I going to do this?

We called Ryan on our way to the hospital, his drive was about 30 minutes, figured I would checked in and settled by the time he got there.

The judgement started as soon as we walked in the door!

I checked myself in, along with a few other followers…
“Ma’am, how do you know you are in labor?” with the dirtiest look ever.
Umm. my water broke…
“Are you sure?”
Thinking in my head… (“Should I have brought my freaking sheets with me?”
Yes,..
“Okay, we are going to have to check you first.”

Waddle my way to the room.
I was check..
” Yep, your water broke..” NO FREAKING KIDDING!!
I am 19, and pregnant.. not completely dumb!!

Then came the IV, and honestly the worse part of my whole delivery. It took about 3 nurses, and a couple popped blood vessels later. I had an hand the size of a baseball glove an IV in..I was finally ready for a room.

I was in the room, looked just like a bed room, it was comfortable for a hospital room, we had our own space, I was excited, nervous and scared. I am going to be a mom soon. Was I ready?

Ryan came, he relaxed me. He made me smile, laugh and talk to me like a human, he was my complete back bone through all of this…
Even better, he told me to close my eyes…. and then I smelt them…
He brought with him homemade peanut butter cookies… (peanut butter anything = the key to my heart) AND THEY ARE THE BOMB!! (he should make them more often! 😉 )

Of course I had to wait until after the delivery and no complications.. which I did.. But the smell.. was ohh so yummy!!

I hung out… I know that’s not a normal story.. but I did.. I had my contractions, breathed through them… we made the rest of the calls, to let them know I was in labor.

Nurses kept checking me… 2cm, 3cm, 4cm, 5cm, ….. 5cm

I was stuck, nurses and other medical professionals  kept telling me that I need to relax.. that I was young and need to just let my body do it… it would be awhile…..

I knew the epidural would be coming soon, I had decided that would be part of my plan… Not that I had time to figure it out… and knew all my options.. It was given to me around 6:20pm.. It is just what they say.. a whole bunch of bees, and then pain free… yah okay..

I was finally getting back in the groove.. before I knew I needed to push..
I stressed that I am ready to push.
It felt like no one believed me.
Nurses looked at me and said ” Hold on, wait for your doctor”
Have you ever tried to “Hold ON” during child labor, your body just kinda does its thing.
Doctor and nurses, went to another room, stating that it couldn’t be me.. I was 19 and I was going to have a long labor.
Ya, Okay….
Everyone in room, and I mean everyone….I delivered at a teaching hospital, I was 19, and high risk.. I am pretty sure the whole floor was in my room.. minus the janitor!
Ryan had one side of me and my ex the other.. Ya.. don’t ask.. it was weird, uncomfortable, but I knew Ryan was there for me, and he was my rock, and my ex was there for his soon to be daughter.
In just 1, 2, 3… short pushes, I delivered a 7lb 1oz , 19in beautiful baby girl!

She was completely healthy, no problems, no complications. Ten fingers, ten toes..great birthing stats, great hearing, everything went so smoothly..she only left me for her hearing test.. that’s it…
I was a mother, ready or not… Hold on lets do this….

I’ll save the after birth details, as they aren’t pleasant. Ryan doesn’t even allow me to say the P word anymore.. P L E C E N T A….

The judging didn’t end at delivery, and knew it was going to be an adjustment. I wasn’t told when I could get up, or shower.. eat.. or anything.. I’ll wing it don’t worry. Thanks nurses..

But Emily was born, named, passed around, kissed and loved…

The best part was when everyone went HOME!

Ryan was the lucky person to spend the first night with me. We were a FAMILY! It was nice to bound with Em, ., feed her, change her, and snuggle her. Nothing like new baby smell. She was PERFECT!

13002442_10103883425501178_4324681224014921760_o

Ryan was PERFECT! He helped, that night and the days and weeks after and now years.. No one tells you about after birth.. it’s not fun and uncomfortable, you have so much bodily fluids everywhere!

We did this, we became parents over night…

We have mastered Co-Parenting to its finest, we were all under 20, first time parents..
We have our ups and downs, but Emily is and will always be first! She is loved by so many families and completely spoiled.

Picture 079

And today… We blink and she is nine!

I can not wrap my head around the fact that our little girl is 9 years old today!
How? Why? When?
But she is, and she isn’t slowing down.
I might be bias but Em is probably the smartest, kindest, fun, loving, caring 9 year old I know.

I couldn’t be any prouder of her. Ryan and I did win the great kid award, or maybe it is just our awesome parenting… ha.. we have our moments like everyone else, but this girl is the reason for me. There definitely is no love like a child of your own!

She always helps her friends, she excels at almost everything she does, loves to help around the house, excited to learn and do new things. We might have an occasional eye roll, or look, or even a comment, but I think I was much worse at 9.

Happy Birthday Em – Mom and Dad Love You So Much!

 

 

Advertisements

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Lovely reflection and baring all of your experience to bring a strength that cancel out the negatives directed at you. The important thing is you held on to the love of Ryan and others supporting you and channelled it to bringing up a wonderful daughter you all love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. beuhappy says:

      Thank you so much! Don’t know what I would have done without her! Thanks for reading!!

      Like

  2. I loved this! I just recently had a baby, but I thought it would be better in my situation to have somebody adopt my baby. My adoption journey is very unique. I would like to find someone in a similar situation so we can help each other! Check out my blog? I post a lot about being pregnant at a young age and how I dealt with it, and also a few fun things in between to make my blog not have such a serious feel to it. Keep up the good work!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s